“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” -C.S. Lewis
If a new person drops in on my friends and I while we’re at The Killing Moon pub, I can usually tell if they will stay based on what they look like and what their profile says. In general, people with extremely different taste in music tend to leave soon, never to return.
This is not necessarily bad, and it isn’t that we aren’t friendly to new people. In fact, I can’t think of a friendlier bunch than the people I know! I also don’t think the person who leaves dislikes us, but it’s just the nature of human beings to seek others with something in common. Connecting is not always about music; it could be anything, really.
In my earlier days in SL I used to look for places with people to chat to, and once I arrived at a club where everyone was extremely tall and wore very little clothing. The music wasn’t my first choice at this club, but I didn’t think it was bad either, and I might have actually stayed except for two things: 1. The people talked only to each other (and yes, I did try to join in!) and 2. Everyone was doing the same dance in perfect sync. I did not see a dance ball to join them, so realized it was probably someone’s personal chimera they used – and this was not offered to me! I was the only person in the club doing their own dance.
I did not stick around. I had nothing against anyone there, and I’m sure they were very nice once you got to know them, but the initial differences seemed so large and I wanted company right then – so I decided to look elsewhere. When I left, I did say a polite goodbye, but am willing to bet they didn’t even notice the short, pale girl with many clothes teleport away.
While it’s often music that brings me to people, sometimes it’s other things. In real life my best friend might seem to have nothing in common with me. She isn’t fond of much music, and doesn’t watch films or tv. As a kid she lived on an Indian reservation, and is very southern. Me? I grew up in a Chicago suburb, a completely different culture – then moved to London, England. I’m a fanatic for music, love films… and am basically the opposite of my best friend on the surface. And yet, we were drawn together. We feel called to the same spiritual things and understand and relate to one another better than anyone we know. It’s not always music that draws people together, but in SL I think music may play a bigger part since many activities center around it. Even if it’s not a club, music is everywhere.
This may surprise some who know me, but I can actually tolerate mediocre tunes if I connect with people in other ways. However, if the music is positively abysmal and the people lack clothing, I probably won’t stay too long.