We may spend time with groups of friends everyday in Second Life and thoroughly enjoy ourselves. We may even get to know people from that and grow to care about them over time. However, to truly know a person better, I believe a nice one on one chat is necessary.
We can hang out with people for years if they turn up to the same club we go to. We can share jokes with them, share tidbits of our lives and start to think of them as our mates, our posse, our droogs, our amigos … and yet, in my opinion, a higher level of friendship requires the occasional personal talk separate from a group.
Maybe this is more of a girl thing to sit on a sofa and chat. If it’s two men, they’re more apt to converse over a game or dress up as superheros and hit the club scene. (Er… maybe that’s just my friends!) It’s also not uncommon for a man and a women to sit chatting together, but I have never seen two men sitting on a sofa beside each other. Hmm. And yet, even for men I think they must talk one on one to be better friends, even if it’s during a time they’re participating in some activity together.
Some of us are shy. We want to know people better, but we’re not sure how to do that. Sometimes being the first to send an IM can take courage. We don’t want to appear pushy, we don’t want to disturb… and yet if everyone thought like this, no one would ever truly get to know each other.
Here’s what I say…. if you see someone you already know a bit and you would like to be closer friends with them, why not make the first move and speak first? There’s no harm if they do not reciprocate by initiating things in the future – nothing has been lost. Note: I’m talking about platonic friendship here, not anything romantic! That’s another can of worms though, actually, one could probably view that in a similar way.