On social media, a few people responded to the question: “What do you value in a friendship?”
I’ve decided to answer here instead.
But first, here’s a tip on how to become friends with me:
This is groundbreaking information.
Are you ready for it?
Just hang around me and sincerely want to be friends!
Yep, that’s it. I’m happy to make friends with, or at least be friendly to, almost anyone! I do not have complicated criteria or rules a person needs to meet, just the desire to be friends.
As for what I value in a friendship, that’s a bit different. Some things can move people from being a regular friend into the “good friend” category. So here we go:
WHAT I VALUE IN A GOOD FRIEND
LOYAL: A good friend will not participate in slander against us, and they won’t tolerate listening to it either. If people speak badly of us, a real friend will defend us.
HONEST: Friendships based on untruths aren’t real friendships
TRUSTWORTHY: Good friends are dependable, and try not to let you down. You could even trust them with money.
BEING AROUND: This is a tricky one because I have childhood friends who live in another country, and over time we’ve developed separate lives. I still care about them, and they will always be important to me, but I value friends who stay in contact with me the most. Good friends can do their own thing comfortably in Second Life, and that’s cool. But fairly regular contact for me is a good thing.
WHAT SCARES ME
I’m not picky about friends, but some things put me on my guard and, ironically, I’ve experienced this with some in Second Life. These are people who, on the surface, seem lovely and kind.
TWO-FACED: These people are nice and wouldn’t dream of causing a public scene, but privately they paint unflattering pictures of friends and even romantic partners. I would rather hang out with an emotional person who makes a fool of themselves now and then who is “real” than a sweet but two-faced person.
TELLS SECRETS: If a person blabs private conversations they can’t be trusted enough to become a good friend.
So there you have it. Things I value in a friend, and what puts me on my guard as well.